Southwest things we knew, didn't

Kelly Dwyer

14 Apr 2025 — 12 min read

We did the Atlantic, the Northwest, the Southeast. We've discussed Dallas.

Dallas can win a title, they can go out in the first Play-In game, I mean that. Dallas can absolutely win 17 postseason games without wild caveat, without imagining a season-ending injury befalling one opponent after another. Sometimes matchups funkify our lives.

We don't need to talk about Dallas again, not when we can have fake conversations with people we don't know.

I found myself in an imagined conversation with Anthony Davis recently, as we're all prone to from time to time, explaining to AD exactly how much we respected his game while trying to acknowledge our utter shock at the one-sided bent of the Luka Dončić trade. How a 25-year old could go for 31-year old plus a rotation guy, plus a single first-rounder.

Anthony. (I'd say.)

Imagine it was 2018, a year before your Lakers trade, and out of nowhere the Pelicans deal you to Houston for Chris Paul and Omari Spellman and a pick four years away? We love Chris Paul, Omari had game, but that ain't enough.

Anthony would ask what the 2022 first-rounder turned into, understandable, and I'd mention "butterfly wings" and he'd furrow that famous eyebrow. I'd have to tell him Houston's 2022 first-round pick wouldn't be in the same position (No. 3, Jabari Smith Jr.) if Anthony Davis were around, or even if Anthony asked to be traded from Houston, the players Houston received wouldn't ensure the No. 3 pick. And Anthony would say I see your point and then I'd ask him if he has any Steely Dan on his phone (because I've got some sweet bootlegs).

Then I'd bring up a bunch of other old, fake, trades in order to make Anthony Davis feel better.

Another unsightly analogue for Mavs, a consistency given the team's terrible uniforms, is dealing Dirk Nowitzki at the same age (25) the Mavs jettisoned Luka. Mark Cuban was asked to, by the Lakers, and Mark Cuban refused.

The Lakers' offer included 32-year old Shaquille O'Neal, a dominant and injury-prone center who moved to Los Angeles after developing displeasure with the NBA team in the relatively smaller city which drafted him. This fake scenario involves Kareem Rush also turning a Maverick, plus a 2008 first-round pick (Cuban chooses Hoosiers senior D.J. White with the Lakers' No. 29 selection).

Mark Cuban eventually passed on dealing Dirk days after Dirk turned 26, though Bill Simmons wanted Dallas to pull through with it. That's Bill, though.

What about Shaq? What would trading Luka be like, if Luka were Shaq? Readers of 'Shaq Uncut' by Shaq will no doubt recall Lakers el jefe Jerry West's roiling displeasure with O'Neal's off-court habits, propensity for slap fights, and locker room pranks (disproportionately dripping upon rookie Kobe Bryant, less so rookies Derek Fisher and Travis Knight).

When the Lakers were swept from the 1999 playoffs, it marked the sixth consecutive year Shaq was swept out of the postseason. Six consecutive defeats without a whimper, let alone a win at home, anathema for West, whose career was full of resounding Game Seven defeats. Meanwhile, Lakers interim head coach Kurt Rambis had fully won over Kobe Bryant by fully kissing every bit of Kobe Bryant's ass.

West didn't want to be told what to do with his coach, trading the guy (Shaq) who was telling him who to hire as coach (Phil Jackson) to Seattle for Gary Payton and Jelani McCoy, whom West watched illegally a trillion times in UCLA workouts. Plus a 2003 first-round pick (Jerry West, still with the Lakers in this scenario, selects Dahntay Jones No. 20 overall with the SuperSonics' pick).

What if, more starkly, West dealt Shaq to Texas for David Robinson? Picks up Malik Rose and a 2003 first-round pick (Mitch Kupchak selects Jason Kapono).

Robinson's introductory press conference hits and West mentions all manner of maritime warfare allusions before Jerry gives up and directly cites several different types of battleships by name (and I said to Derek, it is like we're on the MV Leroy A. Mendoca, moving through that chop) while standing next to the befuddled Admiral, who can't believe the Lakers traded Shaq.

There was a point when the Spurs thought Robinson a little soft. Would San Antonio deal Robinson after his 1995 MVP season (and Western finals defeat to Houston) to Phoenix for the noble grit of Charles Barkley (the "grit" comes from the discs in his back audibly settling) and Wesley Person? We try not to minimize the spark of Max Christie in these simulations.

Everyone knew Barkley would be traded by 1992, but what about 1990, the MVP year? A Luka deal would be akin to Philly unexpectedly shipping Charles to San Antonio for 22-point Terry Cummings and David Wingate. Or to Atlanta for 34-year old Moses Malone and doesn't-matter-how-old John Battle. The presupposition with these deals is zero buildup, nobody knows they're gonna trade Barkley. Simply a team quietly destroying itself with little outside influence, provocation.

What if the Cavaliers wanted to make some dumb statement about every NBA player wanting to eventually be a Laker? LeBron James in 2008 to Los Angeles for Kobe? No, Cavs are spiteful, Cavs send LeBron to Milwaukee for Michael Redd, Yi Jianlian. Deals a real estate billionaire can get away with in June 2008 but maybe not 2009.

Now that I've made everyone else a little sad, I suppose it is my turn.

Jokes on you, I'm always a little sad. Let's trade Michael Jordan.

It would be in 1990, after Phil Jackson's first year, with the haughty coach and similarly pharisaical front office convinced its shooting guard star cannot be productive part of a greater good. So they trade him to New York for Patrick Ewing and Johnny Newman. Ewing is not much older than Jordan, whereas Anthony Davis is four years older than Dončić.

The best match is Jordan dealt for Dominique Wilkins but with that historical diversion I'd have to account for a second Chicago Fire (1990), Dominique refusing to get off the plane after seeing the flames, the Bulls playing out in Rosemont for a bit, Reinsdorf selling the team (and White Sox) to Oprah (and Bob Greene) after Reinsdorf was asked to leave, many permutations to detail.

But, with a 7-footer, we wouldn't burn things. We might even let Phil Jackson ride back to Woodstock with all of his stuff. We had a few guys stationed at that McDonald's on the Skyway, but we called 'em off.

We haven't talked about the Pelicans.

PELICANS

We thought we'd get some answers, with Zion, with the direction. We shouldn't expect further elaboration, this is the direction!

Williamson's contract can be cut anytime but even under the worst circumstances it wouldn't happen this year, or this summer. The Pelicans' ownership direction is constantly in flux, NBA assets are finite. We should credit every NBA general manager for not trading for Miles Bridges, because you know that guy's been shipped around for second-rounders. To your favorite team, even.

Ownership is unsettled and so is the roster, which was never a player away, not even with Brandon Ingram healthy, because the Pelicans never knew what they'd get out of Zion Williamson. This didn't stop them dealing for guaranteed buckets in Dejounte Murray, the Pelicans badly needed someone to step into steals and shots with Zion out, and Dyson Daniels can only do one of those things.

Is Dyson, even with his playmaking caveats, a greater positive influence that Murray? Possibly, but Murray was a good hedge in case everything went wrong, or if everything went right. If everything went right, Murray is the Pelicans' dynamic third quarter scorer in a Game 3, the spark behind the run that causes the timeout.

You know that timeout, the one the other coach takes to prevent the other team from taking an 0-3 series lead. The timeout never works.

For that chance, forever lost, the Pels will send this year's Lakers first-round pick and 2027's Bucks first-round pick to Atlanta and Murray won't be right again until 2026-27.

We didn't know we'd have to worry about everyone else. Ingram barely played, fine, he's a free agent, outta there since he stayed a Pelican past 2024 draft night, since they passed on the contract extension. Brandon's always hurt, Zion's always hurt. It was Herb Jones, though, Trey Murphy III, extremely enviable players, very unavailable in 2024-25.

This isn't a monster waiting to happen, anymore, not with Murray out, Ingram gone. A healthy Pelicans team can make the playoffs next year but nobody will stay healthy, C.J. McCollum will be 34. The Pels own the fourth-best odds at the top overall pick in the draft and all its own picks moving forward, only relaying other teams' assets in the move for Murray.

But that's another year, lost.

SPURS

We knew there would be enhanced attention on the Spurs

San Antonio added a rookie point guard from UConn, straight outta CBS. Coach Pop in charge, the league's Next Big Thing on hand, plus Chris Paul, endorser of the decade.

We didn't know we'd grit our teeth so much. The Popovich absence, the stroke suffered in November, cast a pall no replacement coach could overcome, no crew could work its way out of.

Chris Paul tried, the man's ability to control NBA contests is outrageous. The West, however, prevailed over any chance at an upstart attack from San Antonio, it just wasn't the Spurs' time. By the spot Victor Wembanyama went down at the All-Star break, there was silence.

Which is fine, give the prospects another season to develop away from the heated cauldron. Maybe it was too early for attention anyway, we're not sure why they were playing basketball so close to the fire to begin with.

The Spurs expect to be the NBA's wallpaper for the next five-to-15 years and own every right to that expectation, the Spurs not only lucked into a generational player at No. 1, but an all-time star who wants to be a Spur above any other team. Cleveland didn't get that with LeBron: James liked three NBA teams and probably a half-dozen NFL teams more than the Cavaliers.

Even at full health these Spurs were inconsistent yet dutiful, there were mix-ups but also my bads.

The image that comes to mind is Summer League, prospects playing through the demands of a coach still wearing sweats. All the indications of a crew cool with not being there yet, somehow expressed with Chris Paul and Harrison Barnes on the court all the time. Those two guys have so many DVDs.

The Spurs traded for De'Aaron Fox, but then De'Aaron wasn't there. Fox felt his age upon arrival, he is a chunk older than this Spurs rotation (save for the Blu-Rays mentioned above), he'll be asked to lead and settle and I hope he knows what he's asked for.

By March, October couldn't get here soon enough. Not because we can't wait to see what these hum-dingers do when they're a year older, but because we want everything to be alright. We don't want our basketball interrupted by life.

We want our basketball interrupted by cogent statements on the decline of American democracy and absence of general good taste, as emphasized repeatedly by coach Gregg Popovich during meetings with NBA media ahead of NBA games. Get well soon, Pop.

We also want slams, jams, swats. Get well soon, Victor.

The Spurs are loaded. Castle is Rookie of the Year, at worst Fox turns into a more refined version of D'Angelo Russell, we'll all recall that a less-refined Russell led the Lakers to the third round in 2023.

And making the third round, in the West, is like winning two NBA titles in a row. Making the third round in the East is like splitting a home and home with Atlanta.

San Antonio gets Atlanta's first-round pick this June and San Antonio keeps its own selection, and Fox turns 28 days before the Christmas Day game the NBA will schedule to showcase aforementioned Big Thing. The bad season is over, bring ahead the good summer.

GRIZZLIES

We knew this would be a mix and match season. Ja Morant was not going to be 75-game capable, the Grizzlies didn't want to push that anyway, just as Memphis didn't want to lose Zach Edey to the sort of overuse injuries that knock big men out for extended careers at a time.

Too many characters reeked of impermanence: Luke Kennard, Morant teetering, in and out of the lineup, the departed Jake LaRavia, the long-gone Marcus Smart, Santi Aldama.

We knew the offense would be good, we hoped the team wouldn't give up on Edey (especially after Jay Huff's early-season acclaim). Quite the opposite. Taylor Jenkins tossed minutes after minutes in the heat of a season-long postseason race at the rookie, minutes the Grizzlies lost because of Edey, falling short of a guaranteed playoff berth because of those collected minutes. And it still wasn't enough, the Grizzlies fired the damn coach.

His replacement went 4-5, Edey was great.

We didn't know Ja Morant would still be holding us, pardon the violent term, hostage. Can't help but think in these terms, like I'm seeking out scripts for Cannon Films projects, when Ja Morant celebrates big baskets by pretending to chuck grenades into a paying audience.

By pretending to chuck grenades into a paying audience.

Laughing my ass off while writing this into a computer, not even bothering to edit it because, yes, Ja Morant literally mimes throwing a hand grenade into the stands of a packed arena, his home crowd! And Ja's only reaction is covering his ears with his hands, so as not to harm his hearing. When you write all this out, it is very funny.

Yes, I am also rather sensitive of the timing, the interaction, the apt sadness behind the G.I. Joe approach. What an utter absence of priority, but then again, it ain't like the front office took March and April seriously, firing the head coach with nine games remaining. Gimmick shit.

Still, Ja's problem, he made it time for another talk about weaponry imagery instead of spending more of our space getting used to pick and roll again.

Apologies for the hand-wringing, Ja and Edey worked on those picks and rolls in August, the Grizzlies have larger problems than my broad complaints.

Memphis' offense cratered down the stretch, and how healthy are Jaren Jackson's ankles? Is Vince Williams Jr. ready to fulfill Jaylen Wells' I-see-and-do-everything brio? Will Edey be embarrassed by stretch centers in the playoffs? Play-In?

And they want a new coach to fix it, all it once. And on national TV. This is their version of enticing Tuomas Iisalo to stay. Wouldn't want to leave now!

It is a hot-damned mess that the players themselves didn't deserve. Most of the players. Cover those ears all you want, Ja, you're still going to hear it blow up.

ROCKETS

We knew Houston would go hard. Whether Houston went hard straight into the third round, maybe the Finals, or gone hard right into that ground. With murmurs grumbling around the coach, plateaued prospects, signings, trades that weren't made. Houston could blow out in the first round, if that low point hits, no sensible analyst should retroactively beg for a trade deadline deal.

We know the coach is safe. Mostly because owner Tilman Fertitta doesn't want to pay two head coaches at once, but also because Tilman was born in 1957.

Only NBA owners born after our nation's bicentennial will fire head coaches in March and April and May, trying to squeeze the juice out of this tree we're shaking.

For juice.

"We wanted to try to figure out a way to squeeze as much juice out of the rest of the season as possible," [Josh] Kroenke said. "Let's try to shake this tree and squeeze as much out of it as we can."

Two or three NBA writers heard a person say this and said "uh-huh, ok, cool, thank you for your time!"

We didn't know the Rockets would distinguish themselves as the West's best team, not even midseason. We weren't convinced there was a true deputy among this lot, but Houston passed the audition.

While trying everything. Jabari Smith Jr. in and out of the lineup, Tari Eason handling his role without moan or complaint. Amen Thompson taking everyone's job and talking all the time and Dillion Brooks watching the whole thing from a table over, everyone wondering what's going to happen once Ime Udoka puts Steven Adams in the lineup for the Thunder series. Who's going to come off the bench?

They don't care, now, because the Rockets are winning. Steering past and steaming ahead of gripes is one of the great NBA accomplishments. It makes shaking the tree for juice look like simple syrup by comparison.

The Rockets won a ton of games this year because they were more excited to play basketball than their opponents that particular night. These aren't overachievers, however, this isn't some skinflint, Thibodeau-rotation, the Rockets teem with talent, characters who can rescue a blown play with a little skill and imagination. Udoka also loves short guys: Aaron Holiday is gonna get minutes. We learned this.

THERE GOES MY USED TO BE